World Book Day - 2 weeks late
Teddy’s road-sweeper costume arrived this morning, along with another polyester piece of crap bought for world book day. Even though world book day has already passed, our school likes to hold it on a completely different day - because that makes total fucking sense... They even put a theme to it - I mean, you can’t just come as any old character. No - this year, it’s sodding “Shakespeare”.
Seriously - what dumb arse thought Shakespeare was a good idea? We are dealing with primary school kids - most of whom don’t even know who the fuck he is. I can only name a handful of plays, as it’s not exactly easy reading, is it? But the head of English is an uptight old cow who clearly loathes David Walliams and loves anything highbrow. Mention Michael Morpurgo to her and she’s practically peeing her pants.
Now I would love to be one of those mothers who is 'at one' with her sewing machine - sadly I’m not - I have neither the skill nor the patience. I admire those ladies who can zip up wonderful costumes for their darling offspring. My grandmother was a great seamstress - my mum didn’t enjoy it - although she came up trumps one year for me when I was Maid Marion’s lady-in-waiting in the school play. I didn’t get the main role of Maid Marion (possibly as it wasn’t my finest year from an aesthetic point of view - I was a rather tubby 10-year-old with a Princess Diana haircut), but my mum ensured I had the most beautiful dress to wear. I remember it now - long cornflower blue silk with a floral patterned sash. The fact that Maid Marion’s mum was clearly fucking useless and had put her daughter in an old brown sack-cloth was a tad embarrassing - and somewhat confusing to the audience, who were no doubt wondering why the servant had a nicer frock than the boss. But my mum didn’t care and neither did I - I looked the dog's bollocks...
Anyway - I digress.... so finding a costume with a Shakespeare theme is almost impossible. On Amazon, there is only a choice of William Shakespeare or... William Shakespeare. Funny that - no costumes for Hamlet, Bottom or Puck (mind you - which 8-year-old boy is going to want to dress up as a fairy... oh hang on - there is one actually, but I won’t name any names!).
I can only imagine that this year, the school is going to have 200 kids with identical “William Shakespeare” costumes and 200 kids with identical “Juliet” costumes. That will be really interesting...
Final note - I am dreading trying to convince Ben to wear his costume. What 10-year-old boy wants to dress up in fancy dress - let alone a jacket with frilly cuffs and collar and a pair of stripy pantaloons... wish me luck!
Seriously - what dumb arse thought Shakespeare was a good idea? We are dealing with primary school kids - most of whom don’t even know who the fuck he is. I can only name a handful of plays, as it’s not exactly easy reading, is it? But the head of English is an uptight old cow who clearly loathes David Walliams and loves anything highbrow. Mention Michael Morpurgo to her and she’s practically peeing her pants.
Now I would love to be one of those mothers who is 'at one' with her sewing machine - sadly I’m not - I have neither the skill nor the patience. I admire those ladies who can zip up wonderful costumes for their darling offspring. My grandmother was a great seamstress - my mum didn’t enjoy it - although she came up trumps one year for me when I was Maid Marion’s lady-in-waiting in the school play. I didn’t get the main role of Maid Marion (possibly as it wasn’t my finest year from an aesthetic point of view - I was a rather tubby 10-year-old with a Princess Diana haircut), but my mum ensured I had the most beautiful dress to wear. I remember it now - long cornflower blue silk with a floral patterned sash. The fact that Maid Marion’s mum was clearly fucking useless and had put her daughter in an old brown sack-cloth was a tad embarrassing - and somewhat confusing to the audience, who were no doubt wondering why the servant had a nicer frock than the boss. But my mum didn’t care and neither did I - I looked the dog's bollocks...
Anyway - I digress.... so finding a costume with a Shakespeare theme is almost impossible. On Amazon, there is only a choice of William Shakespeare or... William Shakespeare. Funny that - no costumes for Hamlet, Bottom or Puck (mind you - which 8-year-old boy is going to want to dress up as a fairy... oh hang on - there is one actually, but I won’t name any names!).
I can only imagine that this year, the school is going to have 200 kids with identical “William Shakespeare” costumes and 200 kids with identical “Juliet” costumes. That will be really interesting...
Final note - I am dreading trying to convince Ben to wear his costume. What 10-year-old boy wants to dress up in fancy dress - let alone a jacket with frilly cuffs and collar and a pair of stripy pantaloons... wish me luck!
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