Pick N Mix
So today I decided to take the boys on a trip to the cinema. This is because they have behaved so beautifully during the course of the week and thoroughly deserve a treat.....actually that’s rubbish - it’s just that I’m tearing my hair out and need to get them off the PS4 and out of the house!
Now don’t get me wrong - I love the cinema, but what upsets me is the sheer expense involved.... 3 tickets cost me over £30! That’s before we even hit the pick and mix.
Talking of pick and mix - I leave my boys to start getting their own, as I grab myself a quick coffee. After a few moments - Teddy pops up next to me, shaking his head. I learn that Ben’s been told off for not using the tongs to get the pick and mix. I tell him to go back and join Ben, but he looks rather scared and says he doesn’t like the lady who’s in charge. I pay for my coffee and head upstairs to be met by a rather sheepish Ben. Despite the embarrassing situation of being “mum to the naughty kid”- I ignore the scowling woman, choose not to loudly scold Ben for using his fingers and just crack on with getting the sweets.
I hand my coffee to Ben and grab the paper bag in one hand and the tongs in the other. It then hits me. It’s virtually fucking impossible to get pick and mix sweets out from their boxes, using a pair of sodding tongs.
I mean, seriously, WHO is able to grab tiny sweets with huge plastic tongs and shove them in a small paper bag, all whilst holding the lid of the sweet box up. I end up looking like some mad woman holding the lid open with my chin, as I try and shovel a tong full of milk bottles into the bag. Milk bottles are falling everywhere and I’m beginning to lose my shit.
We eventually reach the jelly beans box and Ben tells me he only wants the popcorn flavour ones. Well as you can imagine, I start muttering unmentionable swear words under my breath, as I’m trying to pick out the tiniest of sweets with these bloody plastic tongs. And then it happens - in an almost unconscious move, I ditch the tongs and shove my hand inside to grab the sweets. Immediately, the tong police are onto me. “You have to use the tongs!” comes an over-officious voice from behind me. I turn round to find the woman from earlier, aka GB (Grumpy Bitch) waggling her finger at me, like I’m a naughty 5-year-old.
“You try and use the bloody tongs!” I want to yell out loud, but instead, I give her my “I’m going to shove the tongs up your ass” death stare. This clearly works well, as she shrinks back to behind her counter.
We make our way to the other counter and the sweets are weighed out. £10.59. I mean - WTF? £10.59 for 2 small bags of sweets. On top of the “small drink and popcorn deal” (which incidentally isn’t any type of deal at all) I’m up to a spend of £20. Without wishing to cause another scene, I reluctantly pay and then venture into screen 6, struggling to hold tickets, coffee, popcorn box and coke.
We settle down to the trailers and I slowly begin to unwind. The kids are happy and will no doubt be high as kites by the time they leave from all the sugar, but for the moment, I have 2 hours uninterrupted peace. And that, my friend, is priceless!
Now don’t get me wrong - I love the cinema, but what upsets me is the sheer expense involved.... 3 tickets cost me over £30! That’s before we even hit the pick and mix.
Talking of pick and mix - I leave my boys to start getting their own, as I grab myself a quick coffee. After a few moments - Teddy pops up next to me, shaking his head. I learn that Ben’s been told off for not using the tongs to get the pick and mix. I tell him to go back and join Ben, but he looks rather scared and says he doesn’t like the lady who’s in charge. I pay for my coffee and head upstairs to be met by a rather sheepish Ben. Despite the embarrassing situation of being “mum to the naughty kid”- I ignore the scowling woman, choose not to loudly scold Ben for using his fingers and just crack on with getting the sweets.
I hand my coffee to Ben and grab the paper bag in one hand and the tongs in the other. It then hits me. It’s virtually fucking impossible to get pick and mix sweets out from their boxes, using a pair of sodding tongs.
I mean, seriously, WHO is able to grab tiny sweets with huge plastic tongs and shove them in a small paper bag, all whilst holding the lid of the sweet box up. I end up looking like some mad woman holding the lid open with my chin, as I try and shovel a tong full of milk bottles into the bag. Milk bottles are falling everywhere and I’m beginning to lose my shit.
We eventually reach the jelly beans box and Ben tells me he only wants the popcorn flavour ones. Well as you can imagine, I start muttering unmentionable swear words under my breath, as I’m trying to pick out the tiniest of sweets with these bloody plastic tongs. And then it happens - in an almost unconscious move, I ditch the tongs and shove my hand inside to grab the sweets. Immediately, the tong police are onto me. “You have to use the tongs!” comes an over-officious voice from behind me. I turn round to find the woman from earlier, aka GB (Grumpy Bitch) waggling her finger at me, like I’m a naughty 5-year-old.
“You try and use the bloody tongs!” I want to yell out loud, but instead, I give her my “I’m going to shove the tongs up your ass” death stare. This clearly works well, as she shrinks back to behind her counter.
We make our way to the other counter and the sweets are weighed out. £10.59. I mean - WTF? £10.59 for 2 small bags of sweets. On top of the “small drink and popcorn deal” (which incidentally isn’t any type of deal at all) I’m up to a spend of £20. Without wishing to cause another scene, I reluctantly pay and then venture into screen 6, struggling to hold tickets, coffee, popcorn box and coke.
We settle down to the trailers and I slowly begin to unwind. The kids are happy and will no doubt be high as kites by the time they leave from all the sugar, but for the moment, I have 2 hours uninterrupted peace. And that, my friend, is priceless!
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